When you can't stand the sound of your parents' voices or the sight of their faces, obviously it's time to change the way you deal with them. If you take the initiative to turn over a new leaf in the relationship, not only will you pleasantly surprise your parents, but you may really astonish yourself by how much easier it is to deal with them.

Some insightful advice about how to accomplish what seems like the impossible:

Don't lose control. The one sure way to have your parents say "you're acting like a child" is to throw a temper tantrum. By using as much restraint as you can muster, stay calm and respectful, listen without interrupting and acknowledge your parents' point of view by saying that you hear them.

Make a deal. If you want the rules changed, the best way to appeal to your folks is to first explain why you want them changed and then suggest a reasonable alternative.

Don't say: "I think coming home at 9 o'clock is really stupid, and I'm adult enough to come in at 2 o'clock ." (Even if it's true, it won't get you very far.)

Do say: "It's hard for me to get home by 9 because all my friends can stay out later, and I can't get a ride home. Do you think we could change my curfew to 10 on weekdays and 12 on weekends?"

Make agreements and stick with them. If you do make a deal with your parents don't blow it yourself, for example by showing up two hours after your curfew without calling. Keeping your word gives you more ammo for future rule changes and shows you're a teenage of character.

Keep in touch daily. If parents know what you're up to, they're less likely to snoop around, eavesdrop, or constantly question you. Plan a date, like dinner several times a week, or arrange to run errands together after school.

Consider your parents as allies rather than enemies. Generally parents have your best interests at heart and, like most people, have a hard time accepting change. Just like you want them to give you a break, you should do the same for them.

Teenager - can do to make things easier at home. You may sometimes think that nothing you do can make any difference - your mother will always nag you, or your father will always complain about the way you look.

In fact this is not always true - sometimes your behavior can make a big difference. Think about it this way. As teenagers, we almost always think about our parents teaching us things. After all, they are adults and we expect to learn from them. But it can work the other way round. Teenagers can teach their parents and this can have some great advantages.

Two ways of solving arguments are by listening and compromise (agreeing on something part way between what you want and what your parents want). Like arguments, it takes two people to make a compromise, and both sides have to listen in order to solve an argument.

Know your feelings are normal. Understand that this is a big chance and everyone feels strange. Whatever feelings you have are natural, so don't feel ashamed if you aren't dealing with the changes 'perfectly'.

Communicate your feelings. The best way to get through any problems you have with your parents is to communicate them, don't act them out. The only way you'll get heard is to talk about your feelings. If you having a hard time getting the dialogue started, try going to a counselor together or pick up a book on stepfamilies and read it together.

If your parents don't listen or you feel you can't talk to them, find someone outside of the immediate family to talk to so you don't feel isolated and alone.

Give yourself time. It takes a while to get comfortable with a new family situation. If you can, look at the addition in a positive light, it's more people who care about you, who can offer you examples, and who can give you a sense of family (maybe some members you didn't have before, like grandparents or siblings, you have now).

Spend time alone with your parent. Along time will reestablish your relationship and help you to feel special again. It will also help ease the sense of loss.

Spend time alone with your stepparent. This will allow you to know the new man or woman in you life. Without your parent, you're more likely to discover what you two have in common that you could help you build a separate relationship.

Form a stepfamily group at school or in your neighborhood. You won't feel lonely any more once you see how many people are going through the exact same thing.

If you know someone who is going through a period of bereavement, do not force yourself on them, but give them the opportunity to talk to you. You will find that just talking about the person who has died, remembering the good times, and sharing happy memories, can be an enormous help. If you yourself have lost someone close to you, try to find a way of talking about your feelings. This is the only way you will be able to mourn and come to terms with your loss.

If a relative or friend is dying or has died, keep in mind that whatever you do feel is normal and that you won't feel it mean to you. Ask them how they want to be remembered or what hopes they have for you in the future.

If the person has died suddenly, stay connected to your family, when people fragment, there's no one there to support and comfort you. Try not to build a wall around yourself by reaching out and allowing yourself to be close to your family.

Get a keepsake. Whether it's jewelry, a photo, or a clothing, have a token that will always remind you of that person so you can transform the relationship into memory.

Prepare a memorial speech or a poem. Relate a story or memory that sums up how you feel or what was special about the person who's gone and, if you feel up to it, read it at their funeral or memorial. Whether you're able to give the speech or not, writing it will help you to be actively involved in saying good-bye and begin your grieving.

Spend holidays with the family by commemorating the person who died. These are the most difficult times, but can be made a little easier by telling stories that bring up good feelings of the past.

Forgive yourself. Any guilt, anger, regret, depression, shame or other emotions you have surrounding the death are completely normal. Understand that in life there are some unfair, awful events and this is your reaction to one of them. Give yourself permission to live fully.

Allow yourself to spend some time alone. You can use this time to reflect on your life and your future, and be alone with your thoughts of your loved one.

Instead of thinking of regrets, try to think of what you did while the person was alive that brought you both joy. Know that pain and disappointment are part of relationships.

During the first few months of grief there are very strong feelings a lot of the time. You may even be surprised about the ebb and flow of your feelings. There's no one right way to experience death. As time passes, the pain eases. After a year, the feelings begin to diminish. You have more energy for life. However, family times like holidays will still be tough for many years. Let your tears flow. By allowing for grief, we can face our pain and let it go. Only then can we move on.

Every effort should be made to work things out before packing up and hitting the road, because life on the streets is not easy. Here's a few alternatives to those considering running away.

Get you family involved in counseling before problems get out of hand; this can be done through a social worker. It's much easier to deal with issues when you're still at home rather than trying to set up meetings to get together after the fact.

Make arrangements with a close friend or relative for alternatives when things get bad. For example, you could have a deal where you can spend the weekend with them when things are out of control at home.

Call your local teen crisis hotline before making any rash decisions. These hotlines are answered by staffers who help you identify the problem and focus on key issues. They can also refer you to services available in your community.

Consider joining job corps. Similar to a boarding, job corps is free to teens and it's a good opportunity to learn a skill they can use later in life. It's also possible to get two and a half years of college education for free.

In any case where the child is ready to leave the home, it would be highly recommend that they go to live with another family member. It's so important to maintain the family identity during these years because once it's gone, the teen loses a sense of who they are; they need to feel connected to family in some way.