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Frequently Asked Questions

Grooming (Body Image) | Bodies | Sex | About Myself | Bad Habits | Crime | Family | Friends | Relationships | Meaning of Life

Grooming (Body Image)
     
Q.   I’m tempted to take steroids. I want to have a good body like the ones you see down at the gym. My friends tell me taking them gives you confidence without having to try too hard. People talk about the side effects, but I reckon it’s worth it.
 
A.   In the 1960s, Amphetamine (Speed) was commonly prescribed as a slimming aid because of its appetite suppressant qualities. These days Amphetamines are very rarely prescribed, because of the health risks. Minimal use does get rid of hunger pangs, but only until the drug wears off, when users are likely to feel ravenously hungry and totally exhausted.
     
Q.   I hate my body so much that I always feel depressed, full of self-hatred and failure. I can’t stand my own body. Why didn’t I have a model-like figure, like those on TV and magazine?
     
A.  

Think about this: How many of those media images match the real people you know? It usually takes hours and hours of work, make-up artists, starvation diets and expertise clothes to achieve the fashion model look. Most important, not ALL friends, sisters, boys like the models on TV and in magazines. In fact, according to feminist author Susan Faludi, only 5 percent of all women have the ultra-thin, long-legged bodies that advertising agencies consider ‘ideal’.

     
    In fact, what’s ideal? African American, Latino, and Native American communities generally view large bodies as a sign of prosperity and fertility, while a thin, frail body is a sign of poverty and hunger. There is no ideal. Accepting your own unique body shape means feeling comfortable with yourself. People will like you for who you are, only when you are comfortable about yourself.
     
Q.   What should I do to feel good about my own body?
     
A.  
Here are some tips:
     
1.  

Stop comparing yourself to others. Magazine and television ads are designed to make you doubt your breath, underarm odor, or any other part of your body you may feel you have to 'fix' with a product. Comparing yourself to models who comprise only a small percentage of the population will of course leave you with negative feelings about yourself. (Especially since their photographs are often enhanced to give them even thinner bodies and impossibly flawless features!) Honor your own body and remember that being unique is what makes us special.

     
2.  

Don't buy into the myths. Being beautiful and thin will not make your problems disappear. Only dealing with your problems will. And thinness can never replace the hard work it takes to become successful. So be realistic and ask yourself "what will being thin really do for my life," "whose standards am I trying to live up to anyway," and "what other things aside from my body can I change to improve my life."

     
3.   Write down the names of the ten women you admire most. Recognizing that our role models come in an assortment of different sizes and shapes lets us know it's who these women are that matters most, not how they look.
     
4.  

Focus on the positives. Make a list of everything positive about you, including your achievements. Put down in separate 3 x 5 cards what you do have going for you, "I have string arms," " I aced my biology exam yesterday," " I am determined," or "I am a giving person." Carry these cards with you and peek at them throughout the day.

     
5.   Throw out the scale and get a telephone tree. First of all, don't get caught in the trap of weighing yourself every day. Whether you're gained or lost pounds isn't the point. It's how healthy you are and how you feel about yourself that matters. So when you look in the mirror and it ruins your whole day, have two or three buddies you can talk to for at least ten minutes. It's important to have support, especially when you feel you're all alone. If you are into reading, go the library or bookstore and get books on women who have dealt with life struggles, such as I know why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. Try to find similarities with these women in your life.
     
6.  

Make a collage that focuses on your goals. Go though newspapers and magazines and find photographs, headlines or artworks that speak to who you are and where you want to go in life. Take the finished masterpiece and hang it on your wall.

     
7.  

Get informed. Find out what 'healthy' is and share the information with your friends. Better yet, ask your teacher if you can get extra credit by giving a report to the class comparing facts and fantasy of what a healthy body is.

     
8.  

Look in the mirror with an accepting and loving eye. At least once a day take the time to look at your body from head to toe and say to yourself, "I accept myself the way I am". No matter how hard you may wish to, you will never be able to cash in the body you are given for another one. So rather than comparing and setting impossible goals, concentrate on enhancing how you feel about yourself on the inside by accepting yourself on the outside.

     
9.  

Get moving. Start out small, try a few stretches first, and then put on some music and dance for a few songs. If you like to exercise, then set a realistic goal every week. But try to do something. Moving out bodies help use to get to know ourselves better, gives a sense of power. Movement and exercise can help us to get out of a funk and feel good about what our bodies can do. But be careful not to make exercise an obsession.

     
Q.   I don't really eat all day and I do exercise quite frequently, but I am still considered fat as compared to my friends who don't exercise at all. Why is this so?
     
A.   Heredity plays a large role in weight. According to a Harvard School of Public health study, the offspring of two obese parents has an 89 percent chance of being obese as well. That's because the child inherits a large number of fat cells and / or slow metabolism from the parents. So it may take a lot less food to make that person fat than it does the person who has inherited very few fat cells and quicker metabolism, who can eat anything and everything and not put on an ounce. Still, remember this point: regardless of what you get from your parents, if you eat foods high in fat (pizza, burgers, fries, egg rolls) and don't do some kind of exercise several days a week, you will gain weight.
     
Q.  

Why is it that after each diet, I regain the weight and in fact, usually end up weighing 20 percent more than what I have before the diet? What should than be the correct way of dieting?

     
A.  

This typical scenario explains how the cycle works:

     
   

After eating fatty foods and not exercising for a while, Felicia begins to gain weight. Afraid of rejection from friends and family, she decides to go on a crash diet. Felicia stops eating breakfast and eats only salads for lunch and dinner.

     
   

Felicia gets on the scale and is excited to see that she's lost ten pounds. In the meantime, her body thinks she's starving and automatically slows her metabolism, at the rate which she burns calories.

     
   

At a party, Felicia falls off her diet and fills up on lots of high-fat food. 'Screw it' she thinks to herself, and keeps eating. Like most people, Felicia can't keep up her low-calorie diet because her body cries out for more nourishment.

     
   

Felicia gains back all her weight. But worse than that, because dieting caused her metabolism to slow down, once she returns to her former way of eating she puts back on all of the weight she lost - and more.

     
    A better way to lose weight: rather than go on highly restrictive diets that you can never really stick to, eat plenty of fruits and vegetables; cut down on heavy, fatty, fried foods; substitute chicken and fish for red meat (but don't eat it fried or with heavy, fatty sauces), and drink lots of water.
     
Q.   My underarms stink. Do everyone's pits smell this funky? What can I do to avoid taking out the whole school?
     
A.  

First of all, understand where the odor comes from. As your hormones increase, you'll begin to sweat more under your arms. The hormones will also cause underarm hair (called axillary hair) to grow. When you sweat, bacteria combines with the moisture and gets trapped. This causes the odor. To avoid it, bathe and use deodorant daily. Some young women also like to shave or use a depilatory on their underarm hair, which isn't necessary because hair itself doesn't odor. If the idea of underarm shaving appeals to you, talk it over with Mom. Be careful about putting on deodorant right after shaving because your skin could be irritated and deodorant might sting.

     
Q.   People start avoiding me because I have a body odor. What should I do?
     
A.  

The hormonal changes of puberty lead to an increase in sweat. If sweat isn't dealt with regularly, it can lead to body odor. Wash regularly, and if necessary, use a deodorant or antiperspirant to prevent the build-up of odor. Although many girls dislike armpit hair, shaving doesn't prevent odor, can cause itching and discomfort.

     
Q.   I have acne on my face. How can I get rid of it as I am now too shy to face my friends?
     
A.  

Acne is common in adolescence. The spots are caused by the male hormone testosterone, which is present in small quantities in girls, as well as in boys. Testosterone affects the glands in the skin, and the ducts leading to the surface become blocked, causing spots and pimples. Acne is usually temporary, you chemist or doctor can offer treatments to help get it under control. Meanwhile keep your skin clean, but don't over wash it, and avoid squeezing spots, as this can scar the skin. A good diet and exercise might also help.

     
Q.   I am the shortest in height in class and my classmate keep teasing and calling me names.
     
A.   Do not feel hurt when hear such comments. Teenagers at your age all have different rate of growth. Some are early developer, while others are late developers. Start ignoring all those comments and people will make a lot less of it.
     
Q.  

My size has always been the object of teasing by my friends. What should I do? I have tried to eat less / more, but still in vain.

     
A.  

It's easy to get things out of proportion, and even friendly teasing about your new figure can be hard to take. Try not to become too focused on your weight. If you are worried, check with your doctor before dieting, to see if it's really necessary. Otherwise follow sensible eating and exercise patterns and try to accept what nature has given you.

   
 
   
 
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